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Visual Language: A Glimpse Into My Journey

These photos are a glimpse into my current condition and my determination to return back to roller derby. The skate with no laces was the one they had to cut off to get my ankle out of. The images with a skate on my good foot was the first time I put a skate on since it happened. Emotions of joy, wonderment, excitement, dread, nostalgia, fear, and familiarity. The way my skate curved against my foot, the way it hugged my toes and ached my bones, but in a good way. I wanted to get up and skate and never stop, but obviously it wasn’t that easy or realistic. These photos are my everything. It shows everything I am at this moment in time.

I would like to thank my derby sister as well as sister photographer Voodoo Dali for these images. She’s the owner and photographer of Tangerine Trees Photography. You can find her work at https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tangerine-Trees-Photography/493099197417695

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How to Avoid Injury by Others More Experienced Than I

Here are two great articles on how to avoid injury while playing roller derby. Even though the risk of injury is huge in the game we love, there are little things we could avoid or change in our athletic practices and daily nutrition.

Here’s an article on how to save your ankles via equipment practices (by derby stein):
http://derbystein.wordpress.com/2014/02/18/saving-ankles/

Here’s an article on how to avoid injury through nutrition (by Julia Burke):
http://skepchick.org/2014/02/the-female-athlete-triad-not-as-fun-as-it-sounds/

Take care of yourself out there, ladies (and gents). Even if we participate in sports that we know has the potential to physically destroy us, we can take better care of our bodies to avoid and unneeded injury.

Throw Back Thursday, One Month Later.

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It’s been exactly one month since my accident. 31 days. I broke my ankle January 20, 2014. It’s been such an odd month.  Half of it filled with days high on percocet and sleeping the days away. They were filled with tears and pain. Frustration  and fear that I would never skate again. Anger that I couldn’t walk and function independently. I felt like a dependent  baby needing my husbands help every step of the way.

Now I can get around fairly okay, navigate stairs on my own, move myself from one place to  another with my scooter. I  can cook dinner, get myself showered by myself, and dress myself.  I can now wear my derby skinz and leggings, which  honestly feels so good and human. My  ability to do these things on my own were stripped from me on January 20, 2014..

Undeniably my situation has gotten better, as well as my attitude. I’ve come so far in one  month. I no longer wear a  splint. I went straight from a splint into a boot. I start physical  therapy Tuesday, February 25th.

I’ve come a long way, but I have so much further to go.

Self Love and Other Great Advice from the Internet.

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Gaining Autonomy.

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I have to say the best moments of recovery is going from dependent to independent and being able to recognize those little moments. Sunday, February 16, 2014 was the first time since my accident that I was able to actually cook a meal. I can’t describe how good it feels to get out of the bedroom and perform such a simple task like making dinner. The next day I was even able to shower without the help of my husband.

Loosing your autonomy as an adult is down right depressing. I am a very independent person that likes to take control. I like being able to drive myself, to cook meals for myself and my husband, clean my house, and other daily tasks that come with the responsibility of being an adult.

When that was taken away from me, I sunk into a horrible depression. When my accident first happened I couldn’t even use the bathroom on my own.

Week by week, thanks to my injury mentor Tamazon, I made goals for myself to gain my independence. The first goal I made was being able to get to the bathroom on my own, after that was navigating the stairs without my husbands help. Each week I pushed myself.

This week I am now focusing on cooking meals every night, and next week I will begin light housework.

Whoever is in this situation and you’re forced back into dependency, it gets better. As your journey goes on you’ll take pride in your little accomplishment. Just love yourself and take it easy. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Derby Love

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A few weeks ago my derby sister, Zombie Hunther #9 3/4, painted my gnarly toenails that were still orange from the surgery. I love the support I receive from my sisters on a daily basis. Little things like this mean the world.

Summer Bucket List

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Things I cannot wait to do once my ankle is healed and my summer bucket list:

  • Walk into the Columbia River or Lake Chelan and feel the cold water embrace my ankle.
  • Walk into the forest and enjoy nature.
  • Hike up into my hometown’s hills with my mom, brother, and our dogs.
  • Take advantage of stairs and enjoy it.
  • Go for walks and enjoy it.
  • Lay out and play in the summer sun an enjoy it.
  • Go for long drives.
  • Go for runs.
  • Take my brother to the park and hang out with him.
  • Ride horses with my mother.
  • Go floating with my mom and brother.
  • Enjoy my human autonomy when I no longer need to rely on others help.

Even though some of these things may be completely inaccessible due to my recovery process, it’s the activities I yearn for. The movements and experiences I took for granted when I wasn’t handicapped. The family times I dismissed for other lame reasons. I’m ready for summer.